Learn to Love
by faultinourangels
Summary: He still believes that the little boy who learned 'to love is to destroy' is still in there, but thinks that there's something else, too. "There's another part of me that wants to love you like there's no tomorrow." Clace one-shot set over New Years Eve.


_Hey guys! I'm back with a spur of the moment one shot. I just read a fic where Jace epically told Clary that he loves her and I immediately wanted to write something with Jace being afraid to tell Clary he loves her, so here we are! I hope you enjoy and don't forget to leave a review xx_

 _I do not own anything or anyone from the Shadow world- all rights to Cassandra Clare!_ _Also- please take this as if Jace and Clary haven't told each other that they love one another yet!_

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 _Clary POV_

It was 11:30 on New Year's Eve in New York. Jace and I had gone out earlier in the day to celebrate the New Year with Isabelle, Simon, Magnus and Alec, and we were all a little tipsy when we left the bar to try and make our way into Rockefeller Plaza to see the ball drop. Jace and I had gotten separated from the rest of our friends, but we didn't mind.

Jace let go of my hand and instead wrapped his arms around me. "Are you cold?"

I smiled up at him. The last few months since the war had been good. Painful, but good. We were slowly rebuilding the world after the destruction that had happened upon it. Jace and I had been called multiple times to the Clave, but things were finally starting to settle down a bit. Jace trained with me nearly everyday now, but it turned more into hot spur-of-the-moment make-out sessions often. "No, I'm okay."

* * *

 _Jace lept off the beam towards the top of the room and landed gracefully on the ground next to me. "See?" he said. "Easy."_

 _I glared at him through my copper lashes. "For you! I've been trying this for weeks and I still haven't gotten it!"_

 _Jace grinned at me. "Come on up with me. I'll show you again."_

 _Jace latched onto my hand as we made our way up onto the beam. As we walked out to the center, he grabbed my hips and pulled me into him._

 _"Keep your arms tucked into your sides and be light on your feet. Bend your knees like this." Jace pushed my hips down to bend my knees._

 _I looked over my shoulder at him, eyes ablaze. "That's it?"_

 _Jace looked down at me and took a deep breath. "That's it."_

 _We froze for a moment in our position, and he looked at my lips, and then suddenly Jace was turning me around in his arms and then we were kissing, high in the air, the world beneath us. We were a mess of teeth and limbs and there was a feeling of relief because we were free. Time alone was rare in these first few weeks since the war, and we were finally alone. Our arms were wrapped around each other and my hands were in his golden curls and he was trying to pull me closer,_ come closer _,_ I need you close to me.

 _And when we finally came up for air, the only thought on my mind was that I love this boy. I would go through hell, all for this boy. Jace brought his head down and kissed me one last time, but the urgency was gone and it was just gentle. I pulled away and stared into his eyes. "I love you." And all he could do was kiss me again._

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Jace and I stood around, and after some harsh pushing on his end, we had made it close enough to see the ball that will drop to begin the New Year.

"You know," I said, "when I was little, mom and Luke used to bring me here every year to see the ball drop. I remember being so afraid of the fireworks, and then as I got older we stopped going." I thought for a second as Jace wrapped his arms around my torso. "I would do anything to have a normal day like that one more time."

Jace smirked. "What? Is the daily life of a Shadowhunter not normal enough for you?" I laughed. Jace continued. "This is my first time here. I've never 'celebrated' New Years before. Alec, Izzy and I usually are out hunting demons praying on the drunk people falling all over New York."

"Well, I'm glad you're spending your first New Years with me," I said, turning around and reaching up to give him a light kiss on the lips. Jace's hands gripped my waist, and I pulled away to keep it from getting too heated. Jace groaned and I laughed.

"Alright everyone, it's one minute until midnight!" Someone began yelling over the loudspeakers, counting down from sixty, and I joined in.

"Fifty-nine, fifty-eight, fifty-seven..." Jace stood quiet in front of me. "Come on! Count down with me!" Jace raised his eyebrows at me but joined in.

"Fifty!"

"Fourty!"

"Thirty!"

"Twenty!"

"Ten!"

The excitement built as we reached ten seconds, and the plaza filled with screams as the number became five.

"Five, four, three, two, one... Happy New Year!" Confetti filled the air and everyone was kissing. Boyfriends kissed their girlfriends, husbands kissed their wives, parents kissed their children. I looked down from the confetti and found Jace staring at me with a slight grin on his face. "What?'

He murmured something I couldn't hear over the celebration. "What did you say?"

"I said I love you." The words rolled out of his mouth as if he had been waiting his whole life to say them. All I could do was watch as the smile left his face and he closed his eyes for a second before looking at me again. "When you told me that day while we were training that you loved me, I wanted to be able to say the words back. Even after you left, I was afraid that you would be mad at me." I gripped his arms as he continued. "But I couldn't bring myself to say those three words. Part of me believes that the little boy who learned 'to love is to destroy' is still in me somewhere, restricting me from loving anyone, but then there's another part of me that wants to love you like there's no tomorrow. That part of me is saying that it's okay to love. And I do," Jace said with clarity. "I love you with all of my heart, with everything in me. I love you, and I swear to Raziel that I will love you for the rest of eternity, and whatever comes after. _I love you_."

I bit my lip and looked up into Jace's eyes. "I do believe that the little boy is still in you. I do believe that you may still have fear instilled in you, and that's okay. But you're learning everyday." My arms circled around his neck and came to rest at the top of his spine. Jace's gaze was filled with fear, but there was love in it, too. "And I love you, too." He smiled and pulled me up to meet his lips, my short frame coming off the ground as he kissed me. The entire world vanished, and it was like the sun exploded behind my eyelids as we came together. My hands trailed around his head to cup his face, and his arms pulled me ever closer.

And as we came up for air, I was with the boy that I loved, and he was with me.

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 _Okay everyone! That's it- I hope you enjoyed, and don't forget to leave a review :)_


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